Google My Sinuses

I am obsessed with Google. And I mean Google as a noun, verb, and lunch destination. Last week I was eating lunch with a friend in the Conde Nast cafeteria, studying the cracks that have overtaken areas of the molded plastic on the walls in the Frank Gehry designed space. Their solution? Masking tape. So it’s time to make friends with folks at Google, whose whole cafeteria setup is legendary.

Last Thursday I was meeting with my ENT in advance of some sinus surgery that I’m having in a week’s time. Asking for the lowdown on the nasal packing that I’ve heard is the most unpleasant aspect of the whole procedure, I said to him, “Just tell me. I’ll google it anyway.”

“I know,” he said. And he was right. I get most of my health information from Google. It’s how I diagnosed my herniated disk. Nowadays, I google dates, ailments (both mine and my cats’), acquaintances, prospective bosses, and, yes, occasionally myself. With Google Maps I can now google my apartment and check out the view from the street. Just to make sure that it’s still there. Clearly visible on my fire escape is the antique tricycle that I found on the street last year while in the midst of a boring date. I used it as an excuse to hop on the subway home. “Well, I couldn’t possibly walk around with this all day,” I’d said, “and I simply must have it. So bye.” Google provides me with convenient lists of all the worse possible scenarios for everyday life events and I am eternally grateful. It’s how I know that sinus surgery could result in damage to my eye, or maybe even meningitis. Permanent numbness of the upper teeth, palate, or face is another incredibly vague possibility.

Anyway, my point is that I should probably try to think of Google as more of a noun and a potential lunch destination than a verb.

~ by carlosville on July 14, 2008.