On Duality, Shock

I just got back from the gym on my lunch hour. While on the Stairmaster I was shocked to learn that Star Jones has filed for divorce from Al Reynolds. She expresses her hope that the situation will be handled with “dignity,” which means, yay!, it won’t be. I can’t imagine whatever could have gone wrong. The funny part is that I was on the Stairmaster while on my lunch break for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which is that our house on Fire Island opens this weekend. The middle bedroom, upstairs, is the one I share the weekends I’m out with a roommate. Now I’m told by people who know that years ago Al Reynolds occupied this room during the summers, presumably before he moved down the beach to Water Island and then on to the Hamptons. Perhaps this progression mirrors his “coming out” as a straight man: the Pines to Water Island to the Hamptons. Miami must be next. Anyway, thank the heavens that the Pines has only served to, if anything, make me more gay.

On which note I’ve noticed that the gays at David Barton Gym burp more than any straights I’ve ever known in my life. While in the shower today I heard a big, deep, bellowing burp emanate from the adjacent stall. They are communicating when they burp, I’ve decided. They are talking. What I heard today, for instance, was “Hello. My name is (Brad, Chase, etc.) and while I quite enjoy all manner of gay sex I am masculine. Thank you.” Anyway, please stop burping. It’s gross.

~ by carlosville on April 23, 2008.